Wait, the world is going to end on the Winter Solstice in 2010, and no one told me? The ancient Maya calendar ends, the Earth and the sun line up with the center of the galaxy, or something like that, and the planet Niburu, which the government has been hiding from us (we know they're hiding it because they never say anything about it,) smashes into the Earth like a bowling ball into a head pin-and everybody dies!

All of us! It's not only on the internet and in the tabloids; it's even a major motion picture. We all die-and nobody told me?

Who's responsible for this, Obama? It is, isn't it? Obama, right? Damn socialist Muslim.

--John Rafferty
President, Secular Humanist Society of New York
PIQUE, December 2009