An Irish girl had not been home for over five years. Upon her return, her father cussed, "Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer ol' mum thru?"

The girl cried "Sniff, sniff, Dad, I became a prostitute."

"Ye what!!? Out of here ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this family."

"OK dad, as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this fur coat, and you a mansion and $5 million bank account. And …"

"Now what was it ye said ye had become?" interrupted her father.

"Oh forgive me...a prostitute!"

"Oh, be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death girl! I thought ye said PROTESTANT!"

--Humanist Network News dot Org