These are from test papers and essays submitted to science and health teachers by junior high, high school, and college students around the world. It is truly astonishing what weird science our young scholars can create under the pressures of time and grades.

• When you breath, you inspire. When you do not breath, you expire.
• H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.
• When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide
• Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.
• The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader
• Artificial insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull
• Mushrooms always grow in damp places, and so they look like umbrellas
• A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is.