Human beings reason by analogy a lot: if a woman is like chattel, then it's okay to beat her up; if war is like assisted mass suicide, then it bad, but if it like organized sports, then its a good place for a man to show his mettle.

There is a sensational trend among lonely, frustrated males in their thirties to get fast-shooting weapons, create carnage and kill themselves afterwards. Single digit murders don't make the headlines anymore. In the last five years more Americans died from gun shots than in the Vietnam war. Don't outlaw the guns, says the National Rifle Association, for they are not to blame, and neither are the responsible gun owners. So let's see what we do with other annoying and potentially dangerous things.

Are Guns Like Dogs?

In most apartment communities, pets are not allowed. That's peculiar, because cats can be kept inside full time, and dogs can be trained to do their business in inoffensive places. So why discriminate against animals and their friends?

I used to live in a place that allowed pets. The sand box there smelled like a cat box. The kids could not play on the grass or the side walk, and the poor guy who came to cut the lawn had to wear a full-length rubber coat and goggles. My wife would get very angry at the people who owned dogs the size of calves, and threatened to have our baby play naked on their stoops and leave them an organic deposit there, because what makes pet waste any less filthy than diaper filling?

I don't want to gross you out. The point is this: in the case of pets, many communities don't determine what particular pets, and which particular owners, are offensive. They make the responsible people suffer with the irresponsible ones, and deny everybody the pleasure of an animal friend.

Are Guns Like Cars?

Cars are guided missiles that emit toxic fumes and can kill on impact at speeds as low as 20 miles per hour. Lawmakers realize their potential for destruction. Even though our communities are structured in such a way that a full life seems only possible with automotive transportation, we deny access to the steering wheel to the young, the physically unfit, and the mentally unstable. We make everybody show that they are able to drive well and know the rules. We require that everybody show that they are able to drive well and know the rules. We require that everybody who drives is covered by liability insurance, so that those who cause harm to others will be able to pay the damages. We demand that every vehicle is registered and accounted for: if you sell it, you must make sure the new owner is known. And, in this state at least, we insist that the car is inspected once a year, to see if it is fit for use.

Is a gun as dangerous as a car? I think so. I can avoid a car easier than I can avoid a bullet. Is a gun as necessary to a full life as a car? NRA members seems to think so: the right to bear arms is incorporated in the Constitution, they insist; the right to drive is not mentioned there.

So...

At this time, if you want to buy a new handgun, all you have to do is fill out a federal firearms form, and state that you are over 21, a U.S. citizen, a Utah resident for more than 6 months, and not a criminal, a convict, a fugitive, or a drug addict. There is no background check, so if you lie and your form gets spot-checked by the Bureau of alcohol, tobacco and Fire-arms, all you'll get is more trouble than you had already. If you were born after 1965, you also need to have a "safety card" to show that you did the state's hunter education course. Of course, if you don't want to go to all that trouble, you can also read through the classifieds, and buy a second hand gun.

To those who don't own them, guns are at best annoying and potentially harmful, and at worst a means of violent aggression. As in the case of pets, I don't think the members of a community are required to distinguish between good and bad owners, if they deem guns as superfluous. In case they regard guns as essential, they should separate the fit from the unfit, and make the conditions for gun use and ownership as rigorous as those for cars.

--Anne Zeilstra