I have pondered how a humanist deals with the death of a loved one since my wife died eight years ago. I was born, raised, and married in the Mormon faith and lived according to its teachings until I was about 25 years old. My studies in philosophy, astronomy and the arts raised serious doubts in my mind about the concepts associated with an anthropomorphic god, and I eventually became an atheist. Around the age of 30 I was introduced to the Unitarian philosophy by a close friend, and had the good fortune to learn about humanism from the Reverend Harold Scott.

During the next several years I survived a divorce, the usual travails of raising three teenagers, career challenges, and a very happy, satisfying new marriage. My atheist-humanism was a fulfilling value-support system until my second wife died following an agonizing 18-month battle with cancer. I found it difficult to accept the finality of our separation, and the religious Mormon doctrines that I had learned in my youth once again seemed feasible, even if unbelievable.

At that critical time, my Unitarian-Humanism support system was very weak. The Unitarian minister was not available to assist with funeral arrangements, nor give me spiritual support. He never once offered me an opportunity to discuss my feelings of loneliness, nor my concerns about the meaning of death.

Humanism has a very real challenge to be supportive during human crises. That is one of the reasons I have become a Humanist Counselor, and a volunteer bereavement counselor in the Hospice movement. I hope that I can be available and sensitive when Utah Humanists need an understanding fellow human being to share their moments of agony and pain.

--Flo Wineriter